Poor Olivia and Bobbert

A Sims Times Story
Brought to you by donuts,
the cop way to eat.

It’s been quite a while since Sims Times has told you about Siblings Dance, the new television series about siblings who dance.

In case you forgot, the judges’ names are Bella Abjewl,  Randy Johnson, and Max Powell.  But Siblings Dance is adding a new rule called The Judges Boot!

The judges can can choose to boot someone who is “safe” from elimination, but only if the judges don’t think that the contestants can’t handle it. Sims Times asked the producers why they did this, and they responded, “Well, we hate our fans, so  we wanted to annoy them!”. Interesting response, we thought.

Sims Times got a front row seat for the event. We saw some amazing dancers! And some . . . not so amazing ones. But overall, a great performance!

The elimination sure was dramatic! We were hoping for a Judges Boot, and we were glad when we got one! It ended up that the best dancers were in the bottom! The judges wanted none of that.

Max Powell said,”Olivia and Bobbert, we are pleased to announce that you suck, are pitiful, and no one likes you. You have been booted. But Bella loves the dress and shoes.” That Max is venomous! He made them cry!

Lets lets just hope that Bella tells them next time. Sims Times won’t write a report until the finale, so watch the show!

And eat a nice box of donuts, the cop way to eat!

If you remember, the only other male pregnancy case was the man’s grandfather, who died last year.

Well, after many painful, useless, yet completely necessary tests, we found that said man had antibodies that could support fetuses!

We wanted to see if the grandfather had the same antibodies, but he is six feet under. However, as we know, everything can be solved with fifty bucks, a rainy night, a shovel, and duct tape.

With that said, Sims Times was able to get the grandfather to Kidney Hospital for testing.  Though he was severely decayed (not to mention smelly), we were able to get samples.

It turns out that he has the same antibodies! But, Sims Times doesn’t know (or care) why. What we care about is what happened to the green-skinned baby.

Here is the statement release of what happened;

“One strange night, the man woke with a fright. He rushed to his baby, but found only mashed potatoes and gravy. He looked out the window, and saw a running green bimbo. He snapped a quick picture, as she ran into the nature.”

The poor mother man has put wanted signs of the succubus, and missing posters of his baby (see image above). Sims Times wishes the police force luck with their search. We hope the baby is found, and that the succubus is captured.

The Sims Times managed to get a picture of him.

A Pregnant Man?!

Yes, you heard it here! A pregnant man as been staying at the “Kidney Hospital“, and is under surveillance. No one knows how this man got impregnated, including himself! He says, “It was like any other day. I looked out my telescope, ate my breakfast, and played with my weather machine. But then, I started to get sick, had some mood swings,strange cravings, and weight gain. Finally, I went to the local doctor. He had no idea what it was! Why would a doctor test a man for pregnancy? Then my mother came to me, and thought I might be pregnant! I thought she was insane! But, for her sake, I took the pregnancy test. I was utterly amazed when I saw the plus.” That is an amazing story, and we did some research. It turns out that there was one other case of male pregnancy, and that was his grandfather! Sadly, he died last year. Sims Times wishes dearly that we could have interviewed him. Maybe he would know how it happened? Sims Times will find out all it can, but until then, this is all we can give you.

Thanks Jen for the picture!

While there are side effects (such as vomiting) everyone is ecstatic to have the cure. Thanks To Majick For The Picture.

What Really Caused the Epidemic?
People all over town can have a  sigh of relief, the cure has been found! It’s been almost a month since a terrible disease claimed the west side of the city. Sims Times was so relived when experts found the cure, even though it has a few side effects. But the real story is what caused the epidemic in the first place!  Scientists were thrilled when they got a strand of infected DNA. They ran it with anything that was new with the town, more specifically the west side of town. They ran it against food, new toys, strange man eating plants, everything! But then they ran it against something they overlooked, ‘Big Bad Butt Botox’.  It’s been 8 months sense the big botox company was sued for the facial disaster botox. It turns out that hideous faces weren’t the only side effect! Scientists found the long term side effect, and that was this new epidemic! We found company leaders living on the streets after that lawsuit, but now they have fled to Simdonesia! A search is currently being held, so they can serve them the just desserts they deserve!

Abrina (right) and Bob (left) are professionals - Thanks Jen for the Picture!

Try Outs Begin!
It seems that the public was so aggravated by the show’s delay, that the producers pushed the date forward to March 5th. The Sports Arena is being used as the audition center. The first day’s  line stretched out across the northern part of the city, over three miles long! The judges had a long day. The siblings we showed in the last edition of Sims Times were the first in line. They had a great audition, and the judges just couldn’t resist little EJ’s dimpled smile. They were the first to get the platinum ticket. After the first grueling day of auditions, only ten siblings made it. That means that tomorrow has 20 spots to fill. The next day was better. They had 15 spots filled by 4:00P.M.! With only three hours left for auditions, and only five spots to fill, things got tense! Four more people made it by 6:00P.M. With only one spot left, and two more auditions, the judges decided to have a dance off between the the two groups of Sims. The judges gave them 30 minutes to come up with a new dance routine! In the end, Bob and Abrina made it. Bob is the little boy, and Abrina is the teenage girl. It seems that they both have private instructors that teach them for four hours a day! These siblings will be hard to beat!

Sims Times was lucky enough to snap picture of one of the mysterious trees (Photo by Majick)

Sims Times has been getting some weird reports of a strange phenomenon.  Sims have claimed seeing trees. That’s not a big deal, but what if the tree is moving!!!

At first, we thought that Mrs Crumplebottom had been drinking again, but soon, we began to get more and more reports!

Before we got the reports of the moving trees, we got missing person reports. Can these things be related?

While some reports say that the trees are completely…uh…tree-y, others say they look slightly human!

Sims Times will be keeping a close eye on this phenomenon. You have our promise, we will get to the bottom of this!

A mother pleading with her daughter (Photo by Majick)

Some recent developments show that teenagers are using new types of slang. Is it harmless? Do you know what your child is really saying to you? Sims Times has done some recent polls on slang.  Most parents have no idea what their children are saying.  The parents say they have been called ‘Silly Moos‘ and ‘Evil Person‘.  Parents have never heard such language before! Where did this come from you ask? Well, no one really has the answer. Some say it comes from the Internet. Others say it’s from television. Yet, some think that aliens are abducting teenagers, wiping their minds, and filling it with this new language, otherwise known as brainwashing!  Our polls show that 26% of parents think it is from television, 26% from Internet, and 48% think that it is aliens. What does this new language mean for the community? For the future? It can only end badly.  Sims Times hopes that the public will soon be able to decipher this strange new language.

]]> http://www.simstimes.com/2009/02/17/new-teenage-code/feed/ 2 http://www.simstimes.com/2009/02/16/epidemic-on-the-rise/ http://www.simstimes.com/2009/02/16/epidemic-on-the-rise/#comments Mon, 16 Feb 2009 17:29:10 +0000 B-Rad http://www.simstimes.com/?p=194

This is one of the many familiar faces trapped on the east side of the city (Photo by Majick)

Sims Times has been hearing reports of a strange new disease which has scientists and doctors stumped!

The disease has claimed the entire eastern part of the city, and is spreading to the west! This is no flu either, it’s something no one as ever encountered before.

Symptoms include black eyes, grey skin, walking with a limp, slurred speech, and always thinking of brains!

The City Council has decided to quarantine the eastern part of the city, at least until experts can find out what causes the disease, and if there is a cure. This was a very hard decision, but the council did what was best for the city.

This decision left many families split up.  I think that I speak for the whole city when I say we need a cure, fast. Scientists are working days and night to find the cure, and what caused the disease.

God speed, scientists.

These Siblings have been dancing since they could walk! They might be hard to beat (Image by Majik)

A new show, Siblings Dance, has come to Pleasant View for auditions! All ages admitted.

If you think that you can shake it like there’s no tomorrow, then this contest is for you! You will have to dance with your siblings in front of three judges. The judges are, Randy Johnson , Bella Abjewle, and Max Powell. They are taking thirty contestants from Pleasant View. They said they would be here on February 20th, to February 22nd. However, Sims Times has heard that the producers are pushing the auditions back to June 3rd, to June 5th.

When asked why they planned to push back the auditions, they stammered, “W-we-wwell, w-we realized that w-we need to a-ad-adv-advertise the show more“.

Some dancers were outraged, while others were glad they had more time to practice. So get ready, get set, and dance!

How did this nice guy turn ugly? (Photo by Majick)

A few months ago, a do-it-yourself botox injector came on the market. The company made more money then they thought possible. The company started advertising, and made itself more known to the world. But now, this company is being sued for 1,000,000 simoleans!! Why, you ask? As it turns out, some chemicals in the botox were very dangerous. The botox injection had the potential to alter the facial structure of Sims, making them very unattractive!

Advertisements said, ” Keep up with the kids, get botox! It’s very simple, and there are no risks! Get rid of your wrinkles at home!”.

One very angry customer has this to say, “I am very angry with this! Look at my face! It’s horribly disfigured! If I don’t get my money back, I might just sue the company myself!” The company refuses to give us an interview, but it doesn’t seem like the company has a chance of coming out of this lawsuit.